Blog – Taylor Made Therapy
The evening that lockdown was announced, I stood outside the door and looked up into the vastness of the universe and wondered at the enormity that has befallen the world.
“It’s life Jim, but not as we know it” remembering the lyrics from this 80s song by The Firm got me thinking about this strange situation, that we all find ourselves in.
It is an experience that we are all having, but how we are living that experience, is probably very different.
I have always been quite happy to stay at home and just be, enjoying my own company. Then suddenly I am only allowed to go out except for necessity and one form of exercise per day, that brought up some strange feelings for me.
Despite not feeling that I needed to go out, I felt guilty that I had not gone, fear of wasting my opportunity. So off I went, despite it starting to become dark, to ensure that I made the most of being able to leave my house.
Freedom is something that maybe I take for granted, suddenly I am curtailed. I had so many plans to do things in the last few months, all of which have been put on hold. I was angry and frustrated at first, then an acceptance that this is how it is. A time to take an opportunity to slow down and notice…….
Having space to be still, spending some parts of the day outside, I am aware how loud nature is; I was outside a few days ago and a robin was chirping so loudly it was almost deafening. The bees buzzing, the grass growing quickly, daffodils flowered and have died back, bluebells and primrose in full bloom, the birds nesting and raising their young. The house martins on their return migration screeching in the clear blue sky. The tide coming in and going out, the flow of the river ever continual. The full pink moon just over a week ago, bathing the night in a soothing light. I may have stopped, but mother nature is proceeding in her natural pattern of life, unaffected by me.
In the big scheme of things, I feel I am insignificant, but here I stand in my own power.
I have control over many things, which I discovered through writing two lists.
“Things I can’t control and things I can control”
Things I can’t control, not being able to go out to work to see clients. Having events and holidays that were booked; cancelled. Not being able to go out and meet up with friends, or being able to attend drum circles and sound healing. Not being able to go out up to Dartmoor to dowse ancient sites and stone circles. Not being able to join others to go birdwatching. Not being able to go out for a meal in a country pub. These are all sociable activities that I enjoy, however they make up a small percentage of my life.
I have discovered that I have control over so much more; I can work from home, without having to sit in a traffic queue. I can decide when I get up and go to bed, without an alarm. What and when I eat. What I choose to watch, listen or read or not watch, listen or read. I can decide who I want to contact (they may choose not to connect with me, but that is ok). I can decide what time I wish to take my exercise or decide not to take my exercise, without feeling guilty.
I can still participate in drum circles and listen to sound healing on zoom. I can go to the supermarket to buy essentials (what I may consider essentials, may not be what others consider essentials). I can still order products online and have them delivered to my door. I can still enjoy listening to nature without the constant sound of the traffic. I can notice the ebb and flow of the tide, the seagulls as they fly over the house towards the sea to roost every evening. I can still watch the sun rise in the morning and the sun set each day.
I am aware time will pass by this way, only once; cherishing every moment and every breath that I take. I’m not sure I will wish to change too much, when this lockdown is over.
I still have all of this........ I can still wonder about the greatness of the universe.
"This is life, Jim. It's how I choose to know it!"