This month has been monumental for me in terms of personal growth. Sometimes when you feel pain, either physically, emotionally or spiritually, your coping strategy is often to put a lid on it, cover it up, repress it in the hope that if you don’t acknowledge it will hopefully go away.
The mind is very powerful if you have a traumatic moment in your life, it can cover it over so much, that you are not sure if it ever happened. However the body can only take so much of keeping these feelings, emotion and pain locked in. Then what! Your body starts to let you know enough is enough, pain. When you have pain, in particular chronic pain, you get used to living with it, then when you feel unwell, you put it down to your chronic pain condition, in my case Fibromyalgia.
My feet have been very painful for months now and I keep saying, I won’t go to the doctor as I know what it is. Only the pain got unbearable. I gave myself Reiki healing and also used sound therapy with the use of a tuning fork over the pain. There is definitely something going on there, when I dowsed my feet with my rose quartz pendulum it went mad, sweeping in a massive arc and after I used the tuning fork on the area and again dowsed the painful area the pendulum remained completely still. What’s that all about!
So I decided to visit the surgery to discover that I had plantar fasciitis. The wonderful doctor nearly sent me through the roof when he examined my foot, oh the pain. As you know I do not take any form of pain relief for my condition, so when the doctor suggested Tramadol I sat aghast in his room. Hell no! I am not going down that route again, he suggested anti-inflammatory pain killers and again I declined. I want to treat this holistically, I know that I can and it works, I just needed confirmation that this was not Fibro and something else.
Gentle exercise, rest used together with healing therapies I believe is the key to healing the body. This may seem a bit way out to most people, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You may feel that it does not work for you, just don’t try it once, give it a go a couple of times, give your body a chance to ‘rewrite its pain pathways’.
I was practicing yoga a couple of weeks ago, there was only two of us in the class plus my Yoga teacher, we were practicing Yin yoga, using props for support to hold poses to a longer length of time. (Give it a go it’s great!) Whilst I had my hips supported on a bolster, trauma release excersies (TRE) kicked in and my body started to rock side to side; so much that I actually fell off the bolster, I was laughing so much. I just let it happen, I know that, it is my body ‘rewriting life’, undoing all the trauma and stress that I have had over my 46 years on this planet. I do not try to repress it, it is just rewriting my journey. I don’t have to re-live the feelings and emotions, the gentle movement as my body shakes and sways is so safe and very comforting and it’s doing its thing.
Back to school ….I faced my fears from over 30 years ago and returned to school. A place that has held so many painful memories. The morning dawned and whilst I ate breakfast at the hotel, I felt physically sick, just like I did when I had to go to school all those years ago, I sat with my herbal tea, as my body gently tremored, I knew that this was a very important part of my healing journey.
As soon as I arrived back at school, the smell in the corridors overwhelmed me, the place seemed so much smaller than I remember and quite a lot of the class rooms had changed in their use. It wasn’t until I stood outside a classroom, that I realised that I had a suppressed memory, it returned when our then teacher had displayed behaviour that is definitely not acceptable these days, those of us that had him for lessons, were able to talk about how awful it was, he has since died; so no legal action would be taken against him.
This was a place, where I was bullied for 7 years by a group of girls calling themselves the hard gang who were in my class. Hopefully they will have developed into kind and loving human beings and if they have their own children, they are not bullying or being bullied themselves. I strongly believe in Karma and the power of the universe, what you give out comes back to you!
My dad told me ‘to stand up for myself, it’s part of life, it makes you stronger’. Yes, it does that, but it also makes you different. It makes making friends challenging, it also makes you resilient to life, but deep down there is a small part of your soul that asks; Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?
Well, the real answer is; I dared to be different, to stand out from the crowd, not to conform to what was expected. Does that make you a target? Probably, but I do not care anymore, I am the stronger person. I am rewriting life.
“I will not change so people will like me. I will be myself and the right people will love the real me.”
Change your Energy – last months post
The Power of TRE – if you want to know more about Trauma Release Excersies
This is me….. – about me